Wishes
by BrokenxTalon
Summary: A poem-style experiment on the relationship between Naruto's old teammates. For years, Sakura has been watching Sasuke die. When Christmas rolls around that year, she remembers the day he just stopped breathing. One-Sided SasuSaku. [TO BE REWRITTEN.]


**A/N: **Bear with me on the spacing. I can't fix it. D:  
Merry Christmas/Happy Festivus (for the rest of us!)  
- Talon

**Wishes, **by BrokenxTalon  
12/25/09

Oh. Hey, Sasuke.

Don't worry. I'm not here to bother you too long.

I wish I didn't bother you at all.

I wish for a lot of things.

I wish you never left that night.

I wish I had been strong enough to stop you from going.

I wish the Uchiha massacre had never happened.

Maybe then...

Things could have been different.

Maybe then...

You would be happy?

I wish you weren't so obsessed with revenge.

I wish I wasn't so obsessed with you.

That would make things a lot simpler, you know?

I wish people wouldn't look at you as the antagonist...

'Cause you're not.

You're Sasuke.

You're Team 7.

We understand, Sasuke.

We really do.

I wish I hadn't asked Kiba to help me find you.

I wish Shikamaru hadn't tried to stop us.

I wish you and Naruto were never so close.

That way... the hurt wouldn't be so extreme.

I wish Neji hadn't been ordered to help us.

I wish you hadn't been so violent -- so enraged -- that day.

I wish we could start over.

Remember the beginning?

Back at the academy?

I was always the annoying girl with pink hair and a gigantic forehead.

Heh.

Yeah.

You were always the handsome, incredibly talented beauty.

Iruka called you

"The Neji Hyuuga of this class,"

Didn't he?

But we got along all right, didn't we?

Yeah....

And then came Itachi.

You weren't the same after that.

You were quiet and depressing on the outside,

But you were tortured and agonized on the inside.

Your eyes were swimming with pain.

I remember finding out what happened from Shikamaru.

You were in the hospital for a week after that.

And then we became Team 7.

Along the years, you had begun to accept the deed.

You were still quiet,

Still Irritable,

Still heart-wrenching just to look at.

But you were better.

And because I knew you would never fully heal,

That was good enough for me.

Remember our first real mission?

I thought Haku had killed you.

I had never wept so hard in my life.

I felt so useless.

I wish I could have done something.

But, thank everything...

You lived.

Remember what you said to me when I hugged you?

"Agh... Sakura... that hurts."

Heh.

Sorry about that... Sasuke.

For as long as I can remember,

All I've wanted you to do is notice me....

No. Wait.

That's a lie.

All I've wanted is for you to love me.

But you didn't.

You don't.

I loved you, Sasuke.

I love you.

I don't know why.

Like I said,

I wish I didn't.

I wish I could have fallen in love with Naruto.

It would have been so much better.

It would have spared so much heartache.

You know Naruto loves me.

I love him, too...

But I'm not _in love_ with him.

I was in love with you.

I wanted to hate you after you left Konohagakure...

But I couldn't.

I can't.

I think a lot about that day you were in the hospital.

You remember?

You had gotten badly hurt during a mission.

You always hated being tied down.

You hated that you couldn't do more.

In a way, you were a lot like me...

Just less annoying, I guess.

You got so angry that day.

You and Naruto ended up fighting.

You two would have killed each other...

If Kakashi hadn't stepped in the way.

You know why I think about that day?

You could have died.

You know why else?

That was the day you left us.

You left me.

"Sakura... thank you."

Thank _you_, Sasuke.

Those words meant so much to me.

But you know what?

I would have gladly traded them for you to stay...

But I know it wasn't worth it for you.

You had to do what you had to do.

Who would have ever thought things would get so bad?

Your absence was like one giant hole in my heart.

It stuck out like a sore thumb.

I never thought I would be going after my own teammate...

But you weren't the same anymore, Sasuke.

You had lost control.

Actually...

Control... I guess... was something you never really had.

I'm sorry, Sasuke.

I would gladly trade lives with you if I could.

You understand why we had to do what we did, right?

I hope so...

Because I don't.

To me...

It just wasn't worth it.

And our militia went down;

One by one.

I don't know how you did it...

But you froze me where I stood.

I wonder...

Did you do that so I wouldn't get hurt?

After all this time, were you still protecting me?

Or was it so I wouldn't get in the way...?

Again.

I guess I'll never know.

I wish you cared about me.

I'm sure the old Sasuke does.

Whichever Sasuke you are -- old or new -- I will love you either way.

But while I was frozen, Kiba had no choice but to protect me.

That bitch, Karin, was nearly taunting me.

I see the way she swoons over you.

Did she mean something to you, Sasuke?

Even just a little?

But I had been separated from the fight first.

Kiba went down second.

You killed him that day, Sasuke...

Or... rather... you killed Akamaru.

_That_ killed Kiba.

I can't help but wonder where he is now.

He's probably locked away in the hospital.

His ankles and wrists are all broken, after all.

I don't know how he'll make it without his best friend -- his brother.

Maybe that's why it was so hard for Naruto to go on without you?

Then Shikamaru and Neji arrived.

They attacked you together;

They made you _struggle_.

Neji was ready to take you down,

But you turned it around.

You took control of Shikamaru's shadow.

He was no longer controlling you.

You were controlling him.

You used his shadow to dislocate his shoulder and release the jutsu.

Shikamaru backed away.

Neji came at you with everything he had.

The sound of breaking bones and the cruel stench of blood was all around me.

Then you managed to disrupt Neji's chakra flow.

(How did you get so strong?)

One attempt at his Byakugan blinded him.

Another attempt at his heavenly spin instantly broke his leg.

Neji crumbled to the ground.

He coughed up blood.

Tsunade said his chakra network had begun to run in the wrong directions.

He went into cardiac arrest.

You laughed.

You taunted him.

You said:

"What's this? Karma for what you did to your cousin?"

And suddenly...

Shikamaru was back in the fight.

Naruto was there too.

Ino came as well.

She released the hold you had on me.

Unfrozen,

She and I attended to Kiba and Neji.

You seemed to avoid Naruto.

You looked extraordinarily concentrated on Shikamaru.

It was too much, Sasuke.

You crushed his ribs and cut his chest open.

You beat him until he was seconds from tears.

You broke his fingers and his hands to stop him from using his shadow.

No.

You broke almost every bone in his body.

You made him bleed.

You made him scream.

And when you finally killed Shikamaru,

Naruto and I knew what had to be done.

The battle between you and Naruto was too awful for words.

I'll spare the details --

I'm sure you know them, anyway.

You were there, after all.

I hate myself.

I'm only useful in the worst possible situations.

I pounded that ground as hard as I could,

And it collected you in it's clutches.

I'm sorry, Sasuke.

I'm sorry I did this to you.

It was my fault.

And Naruto,

With hot tears running down his cheeks,

came rushing towards you.

You know what?

I'm sure you could have escaped.

Did you really want to let us hurt you?

Had you finally given up after killing Itachi?

Or were you just sick of being angry all the time?

"RASENGAN!"

For a moment,

You shut your eyes.

But when the massive amount of blood began to soak your shirt,

You looked surprised.

Tears silently dripped down your cheeks.

You locked eyes with Naruto.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke..." he cried. "I'm so sorry."

I wish I could say you smiled.

I wish I could say you said:

"Naruto. Sakura. It's alright. I'm alright. I'm the one who's sorry."

I wish I could say we went back to the village skipping merrily and singing songs.

I wish I could say that everyone turned out fine.

But I can't.

And you didn't do any of that.

You just watched Naruto

(and me as I stepped behind him)

Looking shocked and hurt.

By then, your white shirt was completely blood red.

Your eyes were soon bloodshot and glazed.

You didn't move.

You didn't speak.

You didn't smile.

The tears just stopped falling.

You just stopped breathing.

And now I stand before you,

And I want to believe that everything will be alright.

We had to do this.

But like I said, Sasuke...

I love you.

You will always be that hole in my heart.

I wish I could say I didn't love you...

But then I'd be lying.

I wish I could touch your skin

Instead of this too cold marble.

I'm sorry you were so broken.

I'm sorry none of us were enough to prevent this.

I'm sorry you became so twisted and uncontrollable.

I'm sorry we didn't have another choice.

Well, I guess... that's all I had to say.

Sorry for bothering you.

I may just never learn... heh.

Here.

Let me just wipe the snow off your grave before I go.

I see Naruto's already been here.

He left a package of ramen.

Ha! That's so typical.

Maybe someday, we'll visit you together.

But goodbye for now.

I love you, Sasuke.

Merry Christmas.


End file.
